marisa likes bagels

Let Them Eat Ice Cream

“Never let some asshole tell you you’re not beautiful enough to have fun. For beauty is in the eye—of the Tiger.

Hamilton Nolan, Gawker.com

summer is rapidly approaching and i’m sure all y’all have a certain set of priorities in mind — sipping 684 frozen margaritas at a rooftop bar, finding a summer fling that looks awesome in a tank top and boat shoes, getting the perfect tan while simultaneously avoiding life-threatening cancer. but underneath it all i’m sure you are, like me, worrying about the physical state of your body.

some may say your body is your temple, but i would take a guess and say most of you treat it more like a condemned crack den. binge drinking. late night bacon-wrapped, ranch-dipped pizza. sitting on your couch watching a teen mom marathon. all winter long many of us play fast and loose (not in the slutty sense…perv) with the health of our bodies, and then as soon as we catch a whiff of summer…the panic sets in.

it’s pretty stressful and it happens every damn year. it’s like, unless i sell my soul to the fitness gods from march-may i will be denied entry into the summer season. but as gawker recently pointed out- THAT’S NOT HOW SUMMER WORKS.

                          
i’ve had fat summers. i’ve had skinny summers. i’ve had medium-fat and medium-skinny summers. but not matter what my BMI was during any given june-august, it’s still the happiest season of the year. because the beach, ice cream cones, baseball games and pool parties are not limited to the jillian michaels and the situation’s of the world. an out-of-control six pack does not a happy summer make. you may strive to be a rihanna, when in reality you’re more of a ke$ha, and that’s okay (this is not AT ALL a musical comparison…purely aesthetic.)

so while it would be nice to look slammin’ in your bikini or trunks or speedo or bathing costume or whatever water-proof garment you choose, it’s helpful to remind yourself that it’s far more important to just have fun…and to eat as much corn on the cob as possible because that shit’s seasonal.

Here’s Where I Quote John Steinbeck Like A Total A-hole

if you are in love — that’s a good thing — that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.

-in a letter to his son, 1958

“Snap out of it, girl!”: Solid Advice From One Dead Person To Another

Do please try to work out for yourself a little personal philosophy and DO NOT, repeat DO NOT be so bloody vulnerable. To hell with God damned “L’Amour.” It always causes far more trouble than it is worth. Don’t run after it. Don’t court it. Keep it waiting off stage until you’re good and ready for it and even then treat it with the suspicious disdain that it deserves…I am sick to death of you waiting about in empty houses and apartments with your ears strained for the telephone to ring. Snap out of it, girl! A very brilliant writer once said (could it have been me?) “Life is for the living.” Well that is all it is for, and living DOES NOT consist of staring in at other people’s windows and waiting for crumbs to be thrown to you. You’ve carried on this hole in corner, overcharged, romantic, unrealistic nonsense long enough.

-Noel Coward in a letter to Marlene Dietrich (read the whole thing here)

When Obama endorsed marriage equality…

whenobamaendorsed:

… he danced around the White House all like:

and:

and:

Gchat Poetry By Jordan Haedtler

On A Daily Basis I Will, Without Fail:

• spill something on my shirt
• splatter something on my shirt
• drop my pen…on my shirt
• trip over my own foot
• come in contact with a vagrant specializing in sexual harassment exiting the gristedes on my corner
• tweet something that i realize is totally inane 3 seconds after i tweet it
• look behind my shower curtain to make sure that a murderer didn’t take up residence in my tub during the night
• consider throwing my work computer out the window because it’s giving me a major attitude and i just can’t work with that
• crave a bagel
• laugh way louder than intended
• spend 45 minutes trying to decide what i want to order for dinner and then end up getting one of the three things i always get
• promise myself that tomorrow i’ll make headway on writing a book
• start speaking in an accent, mid-sentence
• black out and say something entirely different than intended (ex. i was leaving kickboxing and as i was passing by the guy at the front desk i meant to say “have a good day!” which somehow came out as “nice to see you!”. what?)
• meow